I must do a little background about myself for this entry to make sense. Imagine you are in school, it doesn't matter what year or the subject matter, all that matters to you is when will this ever end. Ever since you were a child you gave whomever was responsible for you a never ending battle in getting you to school and another one when it came time to do your homework. It wasn't that you couldn't learn, in reality, most of your friends that spent many long hours studying and trying to get the highest possible grades they could get. Whereas you could spend half that time studying and get the highest grades if you wanted to, however; you only put in just enough time to get a passing grade, with the exception of certain topics which came so easy to you, that you could rest assured that your grades would always be in the 95%-100 % range.
Now several years have gone buy and I find myself back in school. At first I take a single class just to get back in the swing of things. Then it's summer and I decide to take a class in a subject that I know enough about, that even though it's a 4 week class I decide to take it anyway. And I am happy to say that both of my grades turn out to be A's, so come this Fall Semester I decide it's time to take on a full load. Now on paper it says I am taking a total of 14 credit hours, 12 - 15 is considered full time, however, the way in which my schedule works is a bit wonkers. Mondays and Wednesdays are my full term classes, first class starts 08:00 - 12:30, and my second class meets at 19:00 - 20:15. On Thursdays I only have one class which begins at 16:00 - 22:30. This is a mini term class, or half semester, which is about 8 weeks, then my second mini term will start on the 13th of October.
I hope this demonstrates that my feelings towards school have changed. So much so one would be correct in saying that I've had a complete turnabout. No longer do I dread the idea of going to school, even on those Wednesday mornings when the night before I might have only had a few hours sleep. The way I feel right now is something I never thought I would ever feel. The idea of me not getting better than passing grades terrifies me. I have never studied like this in my entire scholastic career.
The way I see things right now in my life are so alien to me, I can hardly believe it's me. I have always wanted to do something constructive with my life but there was never a clear path to an actual reality. I can't say for sure what kind of job awaits me on the other side of the door. What I do know is that whatever awaits me, it will be something that I want to do, instead of something I might be able to do.
So what I have come to realize is that it's much better to be in the position of having a choice in what you do, rather than having the choice define what you can do. I have also learned that just because you choose to do one thing it doesn't mean you can't do something else at the same time. More on that to come.
